Whole30 Primal Egg Coffee

Egg Coffee. Invented by the Paleo/Primal crowd, (the people who also put butter and coconut oil in their java, surprise!), it’s exactly what it claims to be: eggs in your morning brew. Separately, the two words are innocent, but side-by-side they can sound wrong—like “nipple waxing” or “President Trump.” They summon images of steaming black liquid with curdled scrambled egg drifting on the surface—gross.

I HATED the idea of this recipe—it felt strange, pretentious, and downright unnecessary… That was why I had to try it! I was an old man sitting on a dilapidated front porch scowling—back in my day, the only place the two mixed was in our bellies! However, in the spirit of having an open mind and an innovative breakfast, I broke out my stovetop brewer and got cracking. And…despite my fear, I took a big whisk and went for it.

…It was actually pretty good! Slightly creamy, smooth, with a hint of cinnamon and an impulsive half teaspoon of coconut oil adding to the velvet of it. Not only THAT, but the stuff was basically rocket fuel. In the time I usually drink two coffees at work, I only finished half. I went back for a cup of coffee in the afternoon, and found my energy level was actually TOO high and had to have chamomile tea to settle my anxiety. Those Paleos might just be on to something…

Am I about to start doing this on the regular? Probably not, but I’m definitely trying it least once more to see if the rocket fuel is real…

Whole30 Primal Egg Coffee
(Adapted from Mark’s Daily Apple)
Serves 1
EggCoffee

2 c. brewed dark roast coffee or espresso, hot
2 eggs, free range if you can get them, room temperature*, **
Pinch sea salt
1/2 – 1 tsp. coconut oil (optional)
Cinnamon (optional)

1. Crack two eggs in a small mixing bowl, whisking vigorously until slightly frothy. In the meantime, brew the coffee.

2. When the coffee is finished, slowly pour the finished brew into the eggs, whisking as you go so the eggs don’t cook. Pour and whisk simultaneously (go! go! go!) until the coffee is fully incorporated and the mixture is frothy.

3. Add the pinch of salt, as well as the coconut oil and cinnamon, if including. Whisk again to incorporate.

4. Pour into your favourite mug, have no fear, and take a sip!

*Note: if you decide to go nuts like me and try this, it’s one of the few times I’m going to recommend “free range” or organic anything. It’s a privilege we can’t all afford, but when a recipe only has four or five ingredients, I like to think the way to ensure its success within that simplicity is getting the best ingredients—but only if they’re within your budget!

**To quickly bring eggs to room temperature, place them in a bowl of warm water for a few minutes before you crack them!

“Wait, What?” Potato Hummus

Yes, you read me correctly—potato hummus! Hummus of potatoes!

Easy to make, easy to eat, and kinda fun to say—it has something of a rhythm to it don’t you think?

I vented in my last post that the Whole30’s stringent “No Sex With Your Pants On” rule feels like an unnecessary layer of misery that I won’t be strictly abiding because it restricts kitchen play. Upon deeper reading, I think this rule mostly applies to baked goods. So on one hand, this is either totally above board and Whole30 compliant…

Or I’m a culinary rebel, doing things my own way! I ain’t here to judge, I’m here to eat.

This creamy, savoury, legume-free hummus functions everywhere its chickpea cousin hangs out—served with raw vegetables, used as a spread, it’s multi-purpose, velvety, AND delicious.

“Wait, What?” Potato Hummus
(Adapted from A Calculated Whisk)
Makes approximately 2 cups hummus

potatohummus

1 lb. potatoes (something like a Yukon Gold)
Sea salt
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1/4 cup plus 1 tablespoon tahini
3 tbsp. lemon juice
1/2 tsp smoked paprika, plus more for serving
1/4 c. plus 2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

1. Cut the potatoes into small pieces and put them in the bottom of a pot, covering with water. No need to peel them! Salt the water as though you’re cooking pasta. Cover, bring to a boil, and cook until spuds are fork tender.

2. Drain the potatoes and rinse with cold water, reserving some of the cooking liquid. Add them to blender or food processor. If you’re using a blender, like I did, mashing the potatoes before hand might help the motor run a little easier. Blend them up and taste the puree—add salt to your desire!

3. Add garlic, tahini, lemon juice, and paprika, blending again until smooth. If texture is too thick and your blender is struggling, add a few tablespoons of cooking liquid or water to help.

4. With the motor running, stream in the olive oil until desired texture is achieved. scoop out and top with extra paprika, olive oil, and whatever else you want!

Avo Nice Day Guacamole

Homemade guacamole speaks for itself and literally needs no introduction. I’ll just say if you’re a fan and you’re not making it from scratch, you haven’t truly LIVED!

I like my tomato and onion rough-chopped for more texture. If you like yours smoother, just chop up the ingredients more finely before incorporating them.

Guacamole toast is like avocado toast with a soul. There, I said it. 

Avo Nice Day Guacamole

2 small, ripe avocados
2 cloves garlic, crushed
1 medium tomato, chopped
1 small red onion, chopped
1 lime, juiced
Salt and pepper, to taste
1 heaping tbsp. flax seed meal (optional)

1.  In a small bowl, mash up the avocado flesh with a fork, reserving at least one of the pits, and setting aside.

2. Stir in crushed garlic, as well as tomato and onion, mixing thoroughly.

3. Add lime juice and stir to combine. Taste, then add salt and pepper to your personal preference. If you’re adding flax seed meal, stir it in.

4. Enjoy immediately with nacho chips, toast, or however you usually eat your lame grocery store guacamole… just better. If you want to save yours for later, put it in an airtight container and add one of the pits to keep it from browning quickly.

Better Yet Butternut Squash Chili

Confession: I’m bad at meal planning. Unless I have a craving or a recipe I want to try, on a typical week I will go to my local grocer, get lost, and end up buying whatever’s on sale.

For the past few weeks, butternut squash has been on sale non-stop. SO, in addition to a dope burrito recipe this month, you can have this tasty vegetarian chili recipe, because spring hasn’t come to Montreal yet, and there’s something warming and comforting about a big, spicy bowl to keep you company as you sob about why spring is taking so damn long.

Don’t be afraid of the cocoa, beeteedubs. It adds DEPTH OF FLAVOUR.

Butternut Squash Veggie Chili
Serves 4-5 

1 tbsp. oil (I used coconut, but do what you want)
1 cooking onion, diced
3 cloves garlic, minced
2 tbsp. cocoa powder
1 tsp. chili powder
2 tsp. smoked paprika
2 tsp. cumin
1 tsp. oregano
Salt and pepper to taste

1 butternut squash, peeled and cubed (4 cups or so)
2 c. red kidney beans, cooked
2 c. black turtle beans, cooked
1 can diced tomatoes
4 c. vegetable stock (or water)

1. Set a large pot over medium heat. Add oil, garlic, and onions, stir to coat, until fragrant and the garlic is lightly toasted.

2. Add the spices (cocoa included!) and stir to coat and toast. When they’re smelling great but not burning, add in the butternut squash and stir. Salt and pepper at will!

3. Add beans, tomatoes, and stock or water. Bring to a simmer until chili thickens slightly and squash is fork tender.

4. Serve with sour cream, or hot sauce, or cheddar cheese, or avocado, or nacho chips, or SMARTIES for all I know. I ain’t the boss of you.

Matcha, Date & PB Overnight Oats

I have to say it, I live in thorough confusion of people who don’t like breakfast.

Forget the fact that every health and fitness article totes the same time-worn “most important meal of the day” schtick, breakfast is the fastest road to eating food! We love food! We love breaking the fast! I’ll take any excuse to innovate something tasty to boost the start of the day, paired with a steaming hot coffee. On that note, have another recipe. These *vegan* oats are chewy, creamy, sweet, and a little calorically dense to fuel you up until lunch time!

This week, because of St. Patrick’s Day, I was feeling a little green-spirited, and that’s where this recipe came from.

Matcha, Date, and PB Overnight Oats – serves 1
(approx. 490 cals)

1/3 c. steel cut oats
1/2 c. unsweetened almond milk
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. agave nectar or other sweetener (or to taste)
4 dates, chopped
1 tsp. matcha green tea powder
1-2 tbsp. chia seeds
1 tbsp. smooth natural pb

Optional: to make this creamier, add a few tbsp. of greek yogurt!

1. Combine milk, vanilla, and agave in a container of your choice. Now, add the matcha powder and whisk until thoroughly combined.
2. Add in oats, dates, and chia seeds, stirring until everything is saturated.
3. Spoon the peanut butter onto the top, but don’t stir it in. It will distribute better when the oats have set in the morning!
4. Cover and let sit in the fridge overnight. Stir the peanut butter through to distribute evenly and nosh away!

Vegan Squash & Lentil Burritos

On the journey to bettering myself, I’ve made some serious discoveries—for instance: my favourite food used to be pizza, and now… it’s burritos. Deep, I know. Anyway, this is a quick recipe I adapted to bring for lunch to work this week.

That’s it. That’s all you need to know, that and these are super portable and delicious.

Vegan Butternut Squash & Lentil Burritos – makes 4-5 burritos
(adapted from Oh She Glows)

1 medium butternut squash, peeled and cubed
1.5 cups cooked brown rice (.5 cup uncooked)
2 tsp olive oil, divided
1 medium sweet onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 red bell pepper, chopped
1 cup dried brown lentils

1 tsp kosher salt
2 tsp ground cumin
1 tsp smoked paprika
1/2 tsp chili powder

5 large or extra large whole wheat tortillas

Directions:

  1. Preheat oven to 425°F.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper if you’re lazy and hate washing dishes (like me) but you live your life and do you. Put the cubed squash on the sheet, drizzle with olive oil. and toss with your hands to coat. Season with salt and pepper, and then toss again. Bake for 40 minutes or until fork tender.
  2. Rinse the dry lentils and then put them in a sauce pan with plenty of water, salt it, and bring to a boil until lentils soft, 30 minutes or so. Drain when finished and set aside3. Cook rice if you don’t have some leftover already. If you can’t cook rice I don’t have time to help you, probably google it. I love you but seriously—basics before burritos.

    4. In a large skillet over medium-low heat, add oil, onion, and minced garlic. Sautee until soft and fragrant. Add in spices, and stir so the spices toast but don’t burn.

    5. Add chopped red pepper, lentils, and cooked rice and sautee for 10 more minutes.

    6. Remove squash from the oven, add to the pan, and stir until evenly distributed and combined. (Original recipe says 1.5 cups, but I just went and did the whole thing).

    7.  Warm your wraps very slightly in the oven to keep them pliant and stretchy. Fill each one with a loose 1.5 cups of filling, and then execute your best burrito wrapping skills (which are hopefully better than mine).

    8. Finished burritos can be wrapped in foil to be reheated in the oven, taken for lunches (soooo portable) or unceremoniously  de-veganed and covered in cheese, sour cream, and salsa, and then inhaled like a sacrifice.